We all have moments that mark us. Moments that define who we are and shape us in significant ways.
My vocal “journey” was born out of such a moment. I’ve always loved words and have been fascinated with the ways our voices can fill a space, convey a message, and express emotion. Recently, I’ve been exploring voice as an extension of identity.
I discovered the true power in voice and spoken word in a moment where words could never be enough.
It was the summer of 2017. I was in Moldova visiting grandparents. Four years earlier in 2013, when I last visited Moldova, I made friends with some of the neighborhood kids.
One girl in particular, Vika, became a very good friend of mine. However, we were never able to maintain contact with each other and the connection was eventually lost by the time I visited four years later.
Even so, when Vika heard I was in Moldova she came to visit and say hello.
I was inside the house when my grandfather called out to me saying we had visitors. I quickly put on some shoes and rushed out to meet Vika. To my surprise, Vika was not alone. She had a stroller with her and in it a baby who was about three months old.
The problem was not that she had a child, but it was the conditions in which she had a child. At the time, I was 18. She was 16. A man left her pregnant, then abandoned her with child.
As Vika updated me on her life, I noticed her black teeth. In contrast, I had recently had my braces removed and was very proud of the beautiful teeth I had as a result. But in that moment, I couldn’t even smile. I found myself not even being able to make conversation. It felt like we were from two different worlds. I wanted to hide the very clothes I was wearing. Not out of pity, but out of humility and desire to shield her.
Although her spirits were up, I saw the depth of sadness, pain, and exhaustion in her eyes. I even saw shame. I saw something I had never seen before in a woman so young, in a child.
Just years before we were both dreaming about our future homes, husbands, kids, careers, and travels. Life’s unpredictable nature suddenly revealed itself to me.
I think about that moment often.
I think about how I opened my mouth, but words evaded me.
It helped me realize how sometimes, voice is an emotion felt, an understanding. But it also showed me the power words have.
I learned to use my words carefully and only with intentions to edify and uplift.
In that moment with Vika, I chose to encourage her to the best of my ability. I praised the beautiful life she created and welcomed her with open arms. Together, we reminisced about the nights we spent together talking and becoming friends.
I used my words to create a safe haven for her with me.